Big Brother house, this is Davina.
You are live on Channel 4. Please do not swear.
Mark that for the best bits.
- Patrick. - Thanks, er... What's it?
- Kelly. - That's the one.
You got pissed, put your hand in the cookie jar.
You make it sound so innocent.
Riq, it's eviction night. It's not really a good time.
- Guess who's been mugged. - Fuck. Are you all right?
They might bump tonight's show.
Because of this shit.
The next person to be evicted
from the Big Brother house is...
How'd this happen, Kel?
Pippa!
What's your boyfriend's name again?
Your real one, that is.
What's going on up...?
Danny.
Something's happening. Some sort of outbreak.
People get this thing and... they change.
They want to kill you and...
Big Brother ain't watching us.
- No, go the other way. - Patrick!
Go the other way.
- Is that Davina? - Sort of.
- There's one in there. - One what?
In the head!
You've gotta get them in the head.
Fucking hell.
Hello?
Ha, no, this isn't happening.
No, this is not happening.
And if it is happening, then it's not happening to me.
Because that's it, OK?
Is this the way out?
- No, don't. No, no. - No, no. Hey, you, whoever you are!
All right, I don't care if that is part of the programme or not,
I am not staying here!
Listen! Listen to me. Calm down.
We're staying here.
Really.
There's got to be somewhere we can go.
Trust me. Outside, it's a bad idea.
How bad?
Who are they?
Her name was Claire.
And they're dead.
Yeah.
It's got to be some terrorist bollocks.
They've released some loony gas.
Loony gas?
You got a better explanation?
The government or army must have tested something they shouldn't.
What? Like GM food or something?
Maybe.
Or wi-fi.
God knows what that does to your molecules.
Does this mean we're not on telly anymore?
Oh, what?
Hello?
That's not your bag!
You shouldn't do that!
Stop bleating.
Fucking hell.
How do you turn this thing on?
Fucking robot's bollock.
There's no signal.
Let me see.
- There's no signal. - Give it to me.
- Why? - Because I'm asking, you foetus.
Oh, my God. You're so rude!
I think we should stay here until the police come.
Yeah? Why don't you start compiling a book of your fucking theories?
Fuck off! Fuck off!
Go on, stick around!
Oh, fucking hell.
Oh, Jesus.
The hummus ones are off.
Shut up!
Shut it!
What the...? Fuck!
I'm not... I'm normal!
I'm normal!
I'm normal! I'm a normal person!
I'm a...
I-I'm standing up. I'm standing up. I'm a normalite.
- Are you the police? - Open the door.
Ah, that's disgusting.
- Are you alone in there? - Huh?
- Anyone else in there? - No, no, no, no.
Get some fucking supplies.
- What? - Get some fucking supplies!
- What? Like water and...? - Now!
Okay.
Ow!
You're gonna be OK.
Before the news went off, it said to barricade your doors.
I don't know how long this will last.
Give us a fag.
Short supply.
You've got 60 stashed under your bed.
Yeah, well, I was saving them for a special occasion.
Merry fucking Christmas.
Where'd you get the gun from?
- eBay. - Really?
- Well, where did you drive from? - Clapham.
- I live in Stockwell. - Not now, you don't.
Is this happening in London and all?
- Do you want to get out and walk? - No.
Well, then, be useful.
- I don't know where we're going. - The coast.
Which coast?
Whichever's nearest!
But I don't know where we are now.
Shh!
Oh.
Fuck!
Well, open the fucking... the...
Open the boot thing, fucking bonnet thing.
Come on, hurry up.
- Lift the bonnet. - Pop it.
Left my tools in the van...
There's hair and skin and shit
in your car.
It's not my car.
I hit one of those things.
Can you fix it?
I'm just trying to work out what's wrong with it first, all right?
That knocking noise could be...
it could be water in the distributor.
Are you sure that was one of those things?
No.
Are you fixing that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on it. Just, um...
I wish you'd stop huffing. You'll use up all the air!
It's not a submarine, you specimen.
- Do you know how air works? - Well, you've just wasted more air!
Do you even understand what is going on here?
Or is the whole world just colours
and shapes and the occasional noise in your head?
Oh, stay out of it.
- It's getting dark. - I know.
So hurry up.
You know, this whole relentless criticism thing of yours
is really fucking sexy.
How am I gonna do this?
That will attract more of them so get a move on!
- What's happening? - She's going into shock.
- She got bitten, not shot. - Get back. You've done enough.
- Hold her down. - What?
Hold her down!
But she's one of us! She's one of us!
Okay. Okay.
Should we, um, you know, take her outside?
What? With those things out there? Fuck off.
- We can't do that. - She's dangerous!
She's OK while she's still alive.
We need to move her into the greenhouse.
We're not moving her. She's in shock!
If she dies, she becomes one of them things in here.
Outside, she's trapped.
We're not fucking moving her.
She's right. We've got to move her.
- Fuck off. - Come on.
Come on!
Shit! Fuck!
Look, if you can't fix it...
You know what?
I'm just trying to get my head around this whole end-of-the-world thing.
It's not my usual environment, so...
The sooner you come to terms with it,
the more chance you've got of surviving.
I am surviving.
- And it's not easy! - What have you done?
You've done nothing.
I've had a van stolen,
I been chased by fuck knows,
I've hid in a garage while I've been shot at.
At! Have you shot anyone?
- Have you had to do that yet? - No.
Have you shot a friend? How about a best friend?
Have you done that? Have you?
Have you pulled a trigger and seen your best friend's head explode
and walked around in a dream
with her blood running down your face and in your mouth
picking shards of skull from your jumper like cat's teeth?
Have you done that?
- Have you? - No, I can't say I have.
No. Right, don't talk to me about surviving until you have!
- I won't. - Good.
- Oh, shit. - Prick.
Whoa, hey, I can hear something.
- Oh, shit! - Fuck!
Run!
Fuck!
Fucking hell! Oh, fuck!
Run for the house!
Hey! Alex!
Come on!
Fuck!
Oh.
That's for not fixing the car.
I think we should check out the house.
How many bullets have you got left?
One.
Right.
At least we know we're alone, then.
Ooh.
Oh, fuck, I need a slash.
- What? - I need a slash.
- Phew. - But the toilet's out there.
Yeah, I know.
You're not going in here!
Just turn your back.
Why don't you hold it in?
I've been holding it in.
Just turn away!
Oh, my God! That's disgusting!
Oh!
Oh, my God! It stinks!
- Oh, shut up. - Eugh!
Be careful as you put her down.
- Tie her up. - Why?
It's a precaution. Just focus on her breathing.
Get your new girlfriend out of here.
Shut up.
Look, it's imperative that you keep her alive. Do you understand?
I'm a charge nurse. You don't have to tell me.
Can you keep her alive? Can you?
Yeah, I can. But I need more than this shitty first-aid kit!
I need haemostatic dressings, epinephrine, morphine.
Basically, I need a pharmacy. Can you get me that?
It's my fault.
Angel, stay with me.
Angel.
You know where we can get that medical stuff from, don't you?
- If you do, you need to let us know. - Yeah.
If you can get us some of that we might be able to do something.
All right, I do. I know! Bollocks!
Look, it's out there.
Supermarket out there with a chemist with all sorts of prescription stuff.
- That's exactly what we need. - That's pertect.
No, it's not pertect cos it's out there.
How far is it?
It's close.
I really wish I didn't know that.
Through the gates. It can't be more than a mile.
Used to get the producer's nicotine gum from there.
The lightweight.
We can do that on foot.
It's too risky.
See that van?
Yeah.
I've got the keys.
- Nice one. - Mmm.
Don't get too excited. That's part two of the plan.
What's part one?
I don't know.
We need to get past these lot first.
- We'll just run for it. - No, we won't.
Well, we might make it.
- We might think of something else. - You'd better think of some...
What was the name of that show with the sheepdogs?
- What? One Man And His Dog? - Yeah.
Yeah, that's the one.
I used to love that shit.
Come on!
Over here!
Yeah!
Does this house have a back door?
Yeah. Come on.
- Here. - Oi!
Come on over here, you wanker!
Come on, then!
Come on and get me, you decomposing fucks!
All right! Come on, then!
Come on, then!
- If she dies before we're back... - Don't say that.
If she dies...
be sure...
through the brain.
You have to.
All set?
The gate! The gate!
Marky!
Get in the van, Marky. Get in the van!
- Go! Hurry! Get in it! Hurry! - Shit! Shit! Go!
Go, go, go!
Get in the van, Marky!
Hurry up!
Yes!